Day 15...Happiness

Are we talking the fleeting kind that we call joy or the lasting kind that we call contentedness? Because I feel the former quite often, which is not something that I would claim about the latter. *sigh, I feel a disjointed point coming on.
For anyone who doesn't know, this past school year has been majorly up and down for me. Some moments were really hard, others were memories that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.
Pause: that's a weird phrase because I might carry the unhappy memories with me for all of my life too.
Play: Occasionally, I've had moments when I can feel that things are looking up and that maybe I have a chance at contentedness. Then something happens that totally shakes my foundation and any grip I had on contentedness slips away. Don't get me wrong, the joy thing totally happens. It happens a lot. I am growing relationships with many wonderful people (*hugs to all of you) and the time that I spend with them is joyful overall. Sometimes we have deep (read: sometimes sad) conversations but it's always a net positive.
But net positive of joy doesn't equate to contentedness in my head. Especially when there are still days that I'm almost disappointed to wake up. Is it possible that I would just keep rolling over to go back to sleep even if I was completely content with the life I was living (with the condition that I'm also not sleep deprived)? I'm inclined to think that if I was content with my life, I wouldn't have to shove myself out of bed in the morning. Granted, there are other factors that play into the need to shove--not the least of which was sleeping on the top bunk throughout this year. Top bunks are great in theory but it is so easy to just stay in bed when a ladder is involved.
I don't know what will make it so I truly feel content in a place. Maybe I'm destined to settle for something less. But that idea sounds exactly 0% appealing to me. I think that I'm slowly coming to recognize the things that will help me be content. It's probably now just a matter of figuring out how in the world I can get all of that together...