Saturday, September 15, 2012

A "Long" Distance Thing

As a way to help us get to know each other and get some help before we go to college, my college has a Facebook page solely for the freshmen. There's questions about dorm sizes, who is joining which clubs, if anyone knows about the bus schedules, and what in the world is good to bring to school. All of that is wonderful stuff, and I really appreciate when someone else asks the silly question that I need the answer to. It makes me feel like I'm using my resources really well when, in actuality, I'm just checking up on my Facebook. There's some other general interest stuff (as far as I can tell, the freshies at my school are totally into TBBT and HIMYM), which is nice for making connections before we even get to school. The longer I think about it, the more advantageous this page seems for all those involved.
And then I stumble across the question: "Is anyone else doing long distance?" Lo and be-freaking-hold, there's almost 90 comments about all these girls (seriously, I don't think there was a single comment made by a boy) who have boyfriends somewhere else in the US. Now, yes, I'm super happy that you (and your boyfriend) think that what you have is worth it/strong enough to survive any sort of distance. But seriously? There is now a club on Facebook that is for people at my school with significant others at the university a few hours south of us. One of the commenters referred to it as a "support system". Excuse me, a support system?! For your relationship that you chose to make long distance? Yes, I understand that challenges are part of a long distance relationships but a support system?
I associate "support system" with really hard times in someone's life. As in when one's spouse or child is deployed; when someone had a close friend pass away; when a person is trying to recover from a car accident; something along those lines. I'm sorry, but you don't need a support system for a long distance relationship. Relationships are not traumatic and hard to deal with (at least, they shouldn't be). Relationships are supposed to be enjoyable and be something that you desire to be a part of. To me, support systems exist when one does not desire to be in the situation that they are in.
Now, all of that is not to say that I am against long distance relationships. If you think what you have with someone is strong enough to withstand the test of distance and time, go for it. But, seriously, finding a support system for a situation like that? If you get sad about your boyfriend being far away, go find one of your friends and ask for a hug. Friends are there to comfort you all the time. You don't need a "support system" with other people in the same situation. 

Also, my current qualifier for a real long distance relationship is when you seriously have to board a plane to see them. If you can hop in a car one morning and be at your significant other's by evening, it's inconvenient but it's not that far away. So when most of these girls are saying that their boyfriend is somewhere between two and six hours away, I want to face palm. The one girl who said that her boyfriend is in Texas, I feel bad for her. But I'm less sympathetic to the girls who have boyfriends two hours away. That's still close enough for him to drive up with roses to surprise you when you tell him about your terrible day, which doesn't really make the distance very "long."

1 comment:

  1. How I Met Your Mother, now that is definitely a focal point of this post, in my opinion.

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